White Fragility

It amazes me that black people are told to mute our feelings on racism because it makes others uncomfortable! Nevermind that these “others” have benefitted from our uncomfortableness for over 400 years. Why do we keep allowing them comfort at the expense of out turmoil? I’m not saying we should be a jackass because we can be but what I don’t understand is why we feel the need to sympathize with those who have made it known they wouldn’t do the same for us.

A while ago I had a conversation with someone who said that she believes All Lives Matters and that she was mad about George Floyd’s brother getting a folded flag because he hadn’t served although his death, sadly, was one of a huge sacrifice that he didn’t sign up for. It saddens me to know that she was more concerned about the flag than the human that lost his life. She did say that she didn’t agree with what happened but her 1st issue was the flag. I guess I would understand it better if I had served my country but at the same time so many black and brown people have served and are still treated like 2nd class citizens compared to their counterparts. Black and brown people have died for this country, have been traumatized for this country, have lost limbs and their mental capacity for this country only to be looked at as monsters and criminals. How can we All Lives Matter if time and time again and for over 400 years the lives of black and brown people have been hung, killed,pulled apart, damaged, and sacrificed with little acknowledgement when it comes to our counterparts. Where are ALM when we are gunned down? Where are they when we go missing? Where were they when our ancestors were jumping off ships and boats? Where were they when land was being taken, houses and business being burned, kids being bombed? Why didn’t they make noise when someone worshipped with church members only to turn around and kill them? Other than loudly spewing ALM whenever they see someone post BLM,what is it that they do?

I like to think I’m a well rounded, intelligent woman so I’m always mistified when someone talks about black on black crime as if all races don’t commit crime? What annoys me even more is the way people justify crimes outside of the black community. Telling me that white people commit crimes in lower ratings than black people does nothing for me other than make me realize just how far people will go to come out smelling like roses. A crime is a crime no matter who is doing it also people commit crimes within the area/community that they live which means white people commit crimes within their communities just as black people do, just as hispanics do, just as Asians do, etc, etc, etc. I mean,I don’t know how many of those communites outside of the white ones, commit mass killings in schools, movie theaters,malls, large gatherings, or churches but I’m sure they do….. I’d hate to generalize a whole group of people based on a few bad apples.

I mean,why do we,as the oppressed, have to go out our way to make others feel comfortable in either their racism or their lack of believing that it exists? Why are told to remain mute as if our silence is for our protection when really it’s for the comfort of others? When we’re silently protesting it’s uncomfortable, when we’re standing with our fists high in the air it’s uncomfortable, when we are peacefully protesting it’s uncomfortable…..it’s nothing that black or brown people can do to make the willingly uncomfortable people comfortable because they don’t want to be. They have become so accustomed to getting their way that when we continue to talk about our generational issues with systematic racism, they become defensive and instead chose to tell us to let it go or even more ironic they tell us how they were able to pick themselves up their bootstraps and make something out of nothing. What’s absolutely disgusting about that mindset is the thought that they ignore the huge fact that their skin color didn’t play a role in them having to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, their circumstances did. Black and brown people have to make bootstraps to pull themselves up with and then they have to watch as those same nothing to something counterparts with less qualifications are hired and promoted. Studies have shown that if you take a white person and a black person with the same credit and other financial history that the white person would still be given a better deal than the black person. So why wouldn’t that happen in the workforce, in the judicial system, in health care, in all aspects of life? Don’t tell us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps when those straps are made of cloth and not leather.

Please don’t fake your comfortability in addressing racism by using your token black friends, black family members, black celebrities, or black personalities. We are tired of you telling us about Candace Owens, Ben Carson, Kanye, Hershel Walker, or any other black person who happily throws their black community under the bus for the approval of their counterparts. Understand that those people do not speak for the majority of us, in fact they speak for you which is why you can tell us all about them without hesitation. They make you feel comfortable in your racism and ignorance and so you become uncomfortable when a black or brown person loudly and proudly calls you out on your crap. I’m at this point that whenever someone brings up any of those names I roll my eyes because I already know where this “debate” is headed in fact most of us do. It’s more upsetting that we have to have that conversation over and over again and even more so we hate that those people are you constant go to when saying you’re not a racist.

We no longer care to make racist or ignorant people feel comfortable. You can’t keep hoping we will remain mute for your comfort. You should feel uncomfortable knowing that you have the intelligence and mental capacity to know that black and brown people are being treated unfairly yet to chose not to do anything about it. What should bother you, is your desire to be so comfortable that you prefer to remain silent than to possibly be shunned by your superficial friends, family, and whoever you feel emotionally in debt to. It’s ironic that your racism or ignorance is what’s actually causing us to become louder and thus reinforcing your uncomfortability. Being silent doesn’t keep us from being killed by those sworn to protect us nor does the police killing us make you feel uncomfortable enough to acknowledge that their is a problem and so we will continue to be loud, to be courageous, and to make you feel uncomfortable because “WE’RE BLACK AND WE’RE PROUD”

A heavy heart

I woke up this morning with a heart so heavy that I immediately prayed instead of doing it my usual time. Breonna Taylor’s death and the conclusion of it is such a hard blow to not only her family and loved ones but to most of the world. I’m so beyond disappointed in the system but that’s not new,I think at this point I’m utterly disgusted with it and with those who think that it’s equal and just.

Breonna Taylor and her boyfriend were sleeping in bed when police officers decided to shoot first and ask questions later. Thinking that it was intruders the boyfriend decides to shoot (Kentucky is an open carry state as well as a state that believes in stand your ground) and in the midst of all of Breonna Taylor lost her life. The AG is saying that the police didn’t enforce a No Knock Warrant but I don’t believe that at all. The AG is saying that Breonna’s boyfriend had a previous run-in with one of the officers but I can’t remember if guns were part of that scenario or not. It seems to me that if this officer had past issues with the boyfriend than he shouldn’t have been a part of this particular case. It also seems ironic that no matter the situation somehow someone comes forward with a story to collaborate with the officers rather it be a gun found,drugs,etc. It’s repetitive and at this point expected.

This piece of jackass decided to not only drag his feet on this case but he also didn’t have the balls to handle it as he should. One thing I can’t stand is a man without a backbone but even more so, a black man without one. In case y’all didn’t know by now,I’m 💯% pro-black but that doesn’t mean that I’m anti-white. What it mean for me is that I love being black and I will always support my black community. I said that because of what I’m about to say now…this AG is married to a white woman,and that’s fine because love is love,but a lot of people including myself, always wonder if that makes a person bias when it comes to racism. After just writing that,I also realize a lot of people of the minority community either were raised or eventually decided that embracing the majority culture at the expense of their own was a better way to be. I understand that we all have to adopt to our environment, including myself but I have never done it at the expense of my blackness or my black community. AG Daniel Cameron is a whole jackass who has the nerve to tell black people that as a black man he understands how we feel! For someone who understands it he darn sure didn’t handle it like one who gets it does. I’ve said it several times but I’ll say it again,Black women are the least protected beings on this earth and Breonna Taylor’s case definitely proves that. The biggest threat to a black woman is a black man with no backbone and a black man who wishes he was white.

A lot has come out about this case from the way the police handled it to them attempting to have Breonna’s ex boyfriend sign a deal saying she knew about his drug deals to the DA being married to Mitch McConnell’s granddaughter (ironically Mitch is a mentor to AG Daniel Cameron) so how anyone could believe that how this case ended was justified is beyond my decent,non racist being, human thought process. The fact that anyone can justify all of these killings of black people is also beyond my comprehension. If people would stand for us with the same energy they use to culturally appropriate use than we would have more of a equal playing field.

The whole system is jacked up, from the Donald Trump on down. I’m fact he’s a blantant racist. He makes sure to protect the cops no matter the situation. He also makes sure to add the narrative about “white people too”. I’ve yet to hear him condemn police brutality,the KKK,acts of racism,or anything else. At this point if you still believe in him than you’re a racist and only God can tell me otherwise.

Breonna Taylor’s death didn’t go over well so why would the conclusion be received with warmth? The people to blame for this travesty are AG Cameron,the officers,the DA,and Donald Trump. My heart and prayers go out to all of those who have been touched by her life including those whose life she helped to save. She didn’t deserve to die and she most certainly didn’t deserve to not get the justice she rightly owed to her.

Revelation:I’m a feminist

Ironically,it was my husband who made me realize that I’m a feminist or at least feminist-ish(I know it’s not a word! LoL) and after I thought about it,I realize he’s right. I think I was denying it because I aligned feminist with being these angry women who hated men and thought all men were garbage and not needed. All I saw were angry women who couldn’t get a man so they were dead set on making them all seem like these horrible monsters. I’m so thankful for being able to evolve beyond my ignorance and my need to be a “pick me” woman.

I completely believe in equality between men and women and that includes being just as sexually free to be with whomever ever they want. Yep,I think women should be able to date and sex whoever they want while looking for a relationship or not looking for a relationship. Statically women, especially black women, don’t make the same as their racial counterparts and even less than black men yet we are just as intelligent,if not more so,and we work twice as hard. Why wouldn’t any woman want to be a feminist?

Being a feminist isn’t just something a working woman should be,it should also apply to housewives. I think housewives aren’t given enough credit. Housewives make sure the bills are paid,the kids are straight,meals are done,clothes are ironed,and do their best to make sure they’re in the best shape possible so they can look good although they’re just as tired as their mate. In my opinion being a feminist housewife means you get just as much say,if not more,about vacations, finances,and she shouldn’t have to do all the house work or deal with the deals by herself just because she’s home.

Now,I’m not the type of feminist that believes she doesn’t need a man because I feel we were all created to need each other. When I was a single mom dealing with my boys, especially my oldest son,I thought that I could handle it all. I was completely wrong because it’s some things that only a man can relate to when it comes to raising boys. I ended up getting him a male therapist/mentor and he worked wonders with my son. I didn’t need a man in my romantic life but I needed one for my personal life. This also applied to when I needed car work done or to help with heavy things I couldn’t lift. I called on a man to help me and he was needed for what I had going on. And I’m sorry,y’all but I’m not afraid to admit that my heterosexual self needs a man to touch that spot of glory. I don’t masturbate nor do I use dildos. I want and need to real thing. I need to feel the body of a man on top of me,below me,beside me,and behind me.

“All women should be a feminist because this world is stacked against y’all” that’s my husband’s quote. I 100% agree with that statement and I’ll also add that you don’t have to use another’s definition of being a feminist,make it your own and build from that.

I’m a proud feminist or feminist-ish and I’ll gladly tell anyone who has a problem with it to check their ego at the door and come back when to me when they get that chip off their shoulder.