The Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian

Welcome back! How’s everyone’s lifestyle change going? Just remember to keep to it and forgive yourself if you mess up. Keep in mind that your path of healthy living is for you to walk so ignore any negativity that may come your way and celebrate your milestones with an extra gulp of water!

DISCLAIMER:Always talk to your MD about your exercise program as well as any vitamins or supplements that you take. So last week I told you all that I’d give you insight on my exercise routine and what I ate. So here we go!!

Cardio is definitely needed to burn those calories and to keep that heart pumping. As I wrote before,I have a full life. I’m married with 7 kids in the house,I volunteer for 2 different advocacy type groups,and I try to make time for personal and professional goals so my life is full but I’m learning how to budget it just as I budget my bills. I usually get up early in the morning,between 5:30 and 6,so that’s when I get up to start my day. I drink some water,take my multivitamins,stretch,and put on my workout clothes which includes a sauna type of vest and pants because I have a hard time sweating and sweat is what helps you to lost weight. Where I walk/jog/run depends on how long I feel like driving. I’m not a fan of trails because I have a fear of snakes and where I live the trails can be wooded so I go to a park near my house that has sidewalk or a pathway or I go to a place here in Durham,called Duke Wall. I become bored easily so I try to walk 30 minutes to an hour and in-between walking I also do squats. Next week,I plan on seeing how I can carry my yoga mat in order to do push-ups and sit-ups in-between walking as well but for now,I just do those at home. I always suggest bringing your phone and earbuds with you because music seems to be a huge motivator for a lot of people. Also,if you have a bookbag/backpack laying around or something similar to it,I suggest putting as many cold bottles of water you think you may need during your time outside. Not only does the cold water help to keep you hydrated but it also can be a coolant for your back since it’s going to be against your skin!

I’ve been having fun in eating Keto-Pescatarian foods! I’ve decided to give y’all one or two recepies that I cooked throughout the week. I’ll start with avacado stuffed tuna salad because it was simple,fast,and inexpensive. I paid no more that $10 to $15 for everything. I got everything from Walmart except for the mayo. The avacado’s came 3-5 in a bag for no more than $4 and that was the organic ones! The eggs,which I buy anyway for us,and the onions,that I buy a bag of anyway, came to no more than $5. The items that I bought are items that I was buying before my lifestyle change except the avocados and these items are also come with more than just one. I guess if you want to be technical,you didn’t buy anything different but one thing that was an additional $4 to $6 including the tuna. Budget and perspective goes a long way. The mayo I bought was just by chance. I was in Food Lion looking for something and saw Keto Mayo and decided to buy it. This was about $6 I believe and it’s more of a want than a need. You can use regular mayo but try to find it as a light mayo and pay attention to the amount of carbs on the label. Now I’m not a Keto-Pescatarian warrior so I tend to be lax in the ingredients I use. I subtract the carbs from the fiber and that’s how I do the math for my particular carb intake. Try to watch the sugar percentage too but that’s also something I don’t stress over too much.

The actual recipe:Make your tuna salad as you usually would. I prefer the tuna packets over the can but the cans are cheaper. I love eggs in my tuna salad but you don’t have to do that. If you do,remove the yolk after boiling. I mixed together the tuna,eggs,mayo,some red onions,and add pepper and salt. I prefer sea salt or pink himalayan salt but again,this is a budget blog from a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian so regular salt is fine just be careful about the amount you use. I cut the avacado’s in half,threw away the seed,and put the tuna salad in. I ate 2 of these with some zucchini noodles and my water! It was good, healthy,and delicious. Again,I’m not a fan of avacados but since they’re a source of healthy fats,I try to use them. When eating this dish I made sure to mix as much of the avacado with the salad as I could. I hope you enjoy this recipe. Let me know how you liked it.

My other recipe I’ll tell you about is my my creole, blackened shrimp with marinated zucchini,peppers,and eggplants. The mix I bought from the frozen food section of Walmart for about $5 and the shrimp was no more than $5. The seasonings were no more than $5 as well. I already buy butter for my family so that wasn’t an additional expense. Keep in mind,you don’t have to use the whole bag of shrimp or the whole bag veges so this is actually a 2 meal type of vibe. I prefer the shrimp to already have its tail off and deveined because I’m a woman on the go. I cooked the veges as recommended on the bag and the shrimp I sauteed with a little unsalted butter and added creole and blackened seasonings. I then added them together and voila you have a healthy meal! It was filling and delicious. Of course,I drank my water with my meal. Let me know what you think of this recipe.

Some pointers with your lifestyle and eating: whenever you get hungry after eating dinner,drink water. I keep a jug of water on my nightstand to drink whenever hunger strikes. Because I’m part of the low income community and I have a large family,I bought a lot of seasonings and other healthy foods along the way. Remember your budget is yours to work with. Don’t try to buy everything at one time. Despite what everyone says eating healthy for low income people is not an easy or affordable feat. When you have the budget to do so,look into unsalted butter, healthier salts,and so forth. Your healthy lifestyle is your journey to walk so don’t worry about the critics.

I also don’t mind sharing my weight. I started off weight 282 pounds and I’m now around 265 pounds. I feel so much better and healthier. I can’t wait to get on that scale next week! I hope you all are feeling better each day and that you’re progressing well in your new lifestyle.

See y’all next week for another blog from,The Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian.

Remember if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health.

My mental health journey thru the stigma’s

My background includes abuse of different types, addictions,sexual assults, homelessness,and some other trauma filled issues. So it would make sense that I definitely have some mental issues steaming from these events and situations. Most people on the world have experienced these same things so it boggles my mind that people think seeking therapy is such a horrible thing.

“You don’t need therapy,you need self control,” those are the words of an ex in response of me telling him I needed therapy to control my violence towards him. Who here understands generational curses? For those who don’t it simply means carrying on negative behaviors from one generation to the next. My mom saw her dad abusing her mom,I’m sure my dad saw some type of abuse,and at one point and time my dad abused my mom and then they both abused me. I,in return,learned that behavior and carried it with me. I won’t say this ex didn’t push my buttons but I will say that I lacked the tools to control that anger. Anyway,now that I look back on it,it’s ridiculous that he would have rather had me being violent towards him instead of seeking help. I’m not sure it dawned on him that if I could control my violence on my own that I would have. In my ignorance and feeling like I was weak,I didn’t take the therapy seriously and my violence remained in tact. If you see someone struggling with something and they come to you with it,why would you tell them they need to handle it own their own as if they haven’t been trying to do so?

“You don’t need therapy,you just need God and prayer.” That’s another line that I hear all too often. It makes a person feel that they don’t believe in God enough or that they aren’t praying hard enough for their issues to be resolved by God. So not only do they feel bad about their mental health or substance abuse,you also managed to question their faith. Do you pray for money,love, happiness, promotions,etc without putting in the work to accomplish those things? No,so why would you expect someone to just fix their mental health or substance abuse issues with prayer but no work? Tell them to pray for help and encourage them to seek help. Faith without works is dead.

“Don’t be telling some stranger about your problems”. So they can’t come to you but they also can’t go to a professional? You don’t think that’s confusing? You’re reinforcing their feelings that they’re all alone while simultaneously making them feel that they aren’t. How do you think a person who is suffering will process that conflicting information? If you aren’t capable of helping them and you love them, shouldn’t you encourage them to get the help they need? Strangers who gossip aren’t the same as professional strangers that help.

These are some of the stigmas that I’ve had to deal with on my journey of seeking therapy. Trying to be and do all those things I mentioned cost me years of getting the peace of mind that a therapy helped me achieve. I ignored my traumatic past even though it was causing a lot of my reckless behaviors just because I wanted to be this strong person. I suffered in silence, lonliness,and sunk into a deeper depression because I felt shame from those who said they loved me. Remember that seeking help isn’t a personal attack on you,it becomes personal when you ignore the distressed one based on your own insecurities or ignorance. You can be a helping tool or a destructive one. Which one will you choose?

WAP and y’all hurt feelings.

So Cardi B and Meg the Stallion song came out today and social media was set ablaze. Per usual they had their share of negative commentary and it was over the most ridiculous and double standard things. Let me go ahead and address y’all hurt feelings.

The sexuality of women has been exploited by men for centuries. We’ve heard lyrics about our breast,our butt, our thighs,our mouths,and our vaginas(I’m working on my language)and the videos with the lyrics can be worse than the actual songs. Mind you,we be dancing,twerking,and singing/rapping all of those songs and not missing a beat. So I find it absolutely disturbing and disgusting that when women take those same lyrics and apply to themselves,it’s a problem. It’s crazy how even in music these men want to have rights over our bodies.

The amount of women who have a problem with this video and lyrics are also irritating. Since when is claiming your sexiness and your sexual power a problem? Is it because they said loudly what you already do privately? Is it that you find what they do to be repulsive? Or is it that you’re such a “pick me”type of woman that you’ll agree to what men say just for them to think you’re the supreme goddess of morality? Let’s be honest,most of us grew up on Salt N Peppa,Lil Kim,Foxy Brown,etc. LiL Kim was and still is one of my favorites. She let me know if was okay to be the freak that I was especially when so many of my friends around me were such sexual prudes at the time. Men have been profiting from making lyrics about women’s body but women can’t do the same without it being a problem? Y’all have got to get yourselves together!

I also find it amusing that people are tearing the lyrics down. The lyric,”I don’t cook,I don’t clean but I got that ring,” seems to be the line that has most of y’all stuck. It’s funny cause y’all don’t decipher male rappers lyrics that as intense as female rappers but I digress. Anyway…..it’s a rhyme y’all. I’m sure she does both but even if she doesn’t than 🤷🏾‍♀️. The truth is some of y’all internalize that line because that’s all you do and instead of addressing that with your man,you’d rather think less of a woman who has a man despite not doing the those things. I’ve seen comments that these women are making THOT behavior acceptable! LOL! THOT hood existed long before these 2 ladies and in fact was celebrated by men……who would then turn around and make those same woman wifey. Make it make sense, y’all. 🙄

At this point I’d rather you just admit that women celebrating their sexuality makes your uncomfortable. Just say,you prefer to have your body and sexual power controlled by men. Be honest with yourself and your insecurities instead of making these women feel like they’re the problem.

Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto Pescatarian.

I’m all about black women being healthy on all levels but I realized I focus more on mental health than I do physical when all of it makes a difference in the lives of women but especially black women. Statically we are more susceptible to dieases than our counterparts but we are medically mistreated or misdiagnosed at a higher rate than those same counterparts. The communites that I align myself with aren’t necessarily the ones with the most resources so we tend to eat what’s affordable and depending on our lives we also buy what’s fast to cook which likely means our diets are poor and our health suffers.

Recently,I went to my PCP and my blood pressure was kind of high as it was at my last visit. My doctor was concerned but not enough to put me on meds and because I’m healthy,overall,we decided to just monitor my blood pressure. So I bought a blood pressure cuff per his request but because of my family history,I decided to change my eating habits and diet as well.

I’ve done Keto before and lost a lot of weight so I decided to get back on that diet and then I realized just mush I was tired of eating meat so as of this past Monday,I’m a Keto-Pescatarian so I eat little to no carbs,the only meat I eat is seafood,and I fast at least every other day for 12 years. I know,I know but I drink a lot of water,which fills you up,so it’s not as bad as it seems. We discipline ourselves to do and accept so many negative things but we don’t put that much effort into things that will positively benefit us. I’m trying to change that mindset with this new life style of mine.

Before I continue on what I do,I want to make this disclaimer:YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT CHANGES TO YOUR DIET.

Now that I got out that out the way,let me tell you how I incorporate my new life into my budget. First,let me tell you that I shop for a family of 9 and I’m the only one who is a Keto-Pescatarian(I don’t believe in making others do something just because I do)so I have to shop a little differently for myself while making sure the other members in my family still get what they want/need. Okay,so here we go……I haven’t done these 2 things yet but I plan do so next week,get fresh veggies from the farmers market,a lot of them take EBT, or see if you can find a local community garden where they allow you to pick a certain amount of veges for little to no charge. If you decide to get veges from the grocery store (no judgement from me)try to get zucchini,squash, broccoli,and other low carb veges (frozen is still fine because if you’re like me,you have a full schedule). I just discovered a frozen blend mix of squash, peppers,and zucchini that I absolutely love. In fact I cooked that and added some shrimp and it was delicious. I also get frozen zucchini noodles that are really good as well. I’m not a fan of avacados but I usually try to buy them and find a way to incorporate them into my food. I’ll mash it up and add it to my vegetables. Avacados is a good source of healthy fat that helps when being on keto.

For those that love rice,pasta,and bread you still have a lot of options. You can use cauliflower to mash like potatoes and you can buy frozen cauliflower rice as a substitute for rice. I love zucchini or squash noodles as a sub for pasta and you can buy these in a pack or frozen or you can buy Noyosa noodles as a substitute as well. I’m not much of a bread fan but I recently saw that Sprouts sells love carb,keto friendly bread that you could try. I also buy my fish in a pack that’s already individually wrapped so that way I can take them out the pack and use them whenever I’m ready. Walmart usually has good deals on shrimp and individually wrapped packs of fish.

I know you’re probably thinking you’re going to have a really high weekly/monthly grocery bill but keep in mind that you are cutting out your usual foods. For me,I don’t have to buy as much pasta, meats,bread,or the like because I’m using that money or EBT for other food. Also,I’m cutting out the amount of times I eat a day which gives me more food for the next and I’m drinking more water so I’m becoming more full without the need to eat. Also,making use of coupons and paying attention to sales are also a good way to save money.

Next week,I’ll talk about what I’ve eaten and my exercise regimen for,”Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto Pescatarian.

Remember if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health.

The Trauma and Aftermath of Rape and Sexual Assault

Earlier this morning,I watched a documentary about a serial rapist and his survivors. He had over 30 survivors who all met after he’d been caught and before his actual trial. When talking to each other they would ask what victim number they were. One of the women said,”I’m #31 and so is my husband”, initially I was thinking that he had raped both of them but then I realized that she was married when she was raped and therefore her husband became a victim as well. This got me to thinking about just how deep the affects of S/A(Sexual Assault) and rape can effect a person.

The 1st time I was raped was the most traumatic for me because I thought I was going to die. I was a teenaged girl who was violated by 6 grown men. These men punched me into submission and proceeded to take what didn’t belong to them. I was and still am,a fighter but men by nature are stronger and so my battle didn’t last long. All I could do was close my eyes,allow it to happen,and pray that I would live to tell my story. When it was over,I went home,wept, showered,and went to the hospital. Seems easy enough, right? Little did I know that the trauma of “what happens next” would be worse than the actual act.

Secondary trauma is what a victims goes thru after the initial trauma. It involves the actual rape kit exam,the interaction with the police,the attitudes with your friends, family,and loved ones,and it should also include how you will live your romantic life from that point on out. I’m going to talk about mine,openly and honestly. I was young when I was raped so I can’t remember if that was my first time having to deal with a speculum and having so many people in the room as I’m dealing with such an embarrassing and humiliating experience. Then I was asked what felt to be 1000 questions by nurses and doctors that I could barley answer because I was so overwhelmed.

Then I had to deal with a relative being more embarrassed that I was seen at their place of employment rather than caring why I was being seen in the 1st place. I was then told that I was lying about being raped to cover up the fact that I had sex!! (Statically women are letting the truth about their experience than those who are lying.) To hear someone so close to me tell me I was lying in my most vunerable moment,is a pain that even now,I still have a difficult time processing. I was a teenager who had just been violated by 6 men only to have someone I loved dearly turn around and question my pain.

Then here comes the police to bring me justice only I didn’t get justice,I became case number ABCDEF/123456 and I felt every bit of that “just another case” vibe. They came to my school and met me in a private office. I tried to explain the what’s, where’s,how’s and everything else they asked. I told them I didn’t know the address or the street but I could show them where it happened if they took me. They never went with that option. Instead they told me it was nothing they could do because I didn’t provide them with enough information. As a black kid from the projects,I already had a distrust of law enforcement and their behavior and treatment of me definitely solidified my opinion of them. Having someone else question my truth was another hit to my trauma.

The trauma of S/A and rape,if not addressed thru therapy, definitely gives you a different outlook on future relationships. The things that didn’t bother you before,now make you cringe. The behaviors you didn’t have before can also change. Since I’m using my life as an example,I’ll tell you how I dealt with it. Since,I wasn’t believed and was looked at as a slut,I started acting like one. One night stands became my thing. Freak em and leave em was my mentality. I had no issue being a homie lover friend,nor did I care about just calling them when I wanted some sexual relief. I didn’t want food,I didn’t want long conversations,we didn’t need to know each other on a deep level,I just wanted the D. I begin to have two different personalities and when I had sex,I didn’t have emotions. It was just a body that I needed at the moment. When my 1st love came back into my life and we became intimate again,it was a certain position I wouldn’t let him do then or now because of the loss position of power I was put in when I was raped. Before that incident,he could put me in that position and I wouldn’t think twice about it. He couldn’t figure out why until I told him and when I did I was expecting him to make me feel like everyone else had but instead he held me and I finally was able to cry it out. This didn’t stop my path the self destruction because he wasn’t the one who made me feel less than but it felt good to finally have someone believe that I was a victim and not a participant. That I had been violated and hadn’t just had sex. My healing didn’t come till years later thru life and most importantly therapy. After S/A or rape you either become very reserved or you begin to have a reckless attitude. Trauma of that sort has a way of changing your life more than you know.

That experience was very traumatic for me,in fact when it happened again,I didn’t tell the police at all and I didn’t tell the guy I was with at the time until about a yr and a half later because I didn’t want to go back down that road of doubts and blameful questions. When they raped me,they didn’t just take my right to decide, they took away my innocence from myself and from others. I was no longer a sweet person to the world,I was a lying hoe. A young woman who just didn’t want to be honest about having sex. I just wanted sex without strings attached,I wanted to be that slut that everyone thought I was. I no longer cared about who I gave my goods to because it no longer mattered since it had been taken from me anyway. As victims we lose our innocence and gain our trauma. Life is never the same and the people most close to us have the potential to destroy or resurrect our outlook on life. How will you react to the person who tells you their truth?

I completely dislike this man

Our daughter just came into our room crying because she just found out she can’t live on dorm because of Covid-19. Do y’all understand how that made us feel? This young woman worked hard to finish highschool and to go to college and this man robbed her of something very important important for a young,black woman and that is to experience life outside of her norm.

Let me start off by saying I don’t associate with any political party because I think it’s all a joke and we’re all pawns in their game of power so this isn’t about politics for me,this is about lack of leadership and accountability. Yes,this virus started in China and I won’t even say that I know for 100% that China nor WHO did what they were supposed to but this man elected into office DID NOT handle this pandemic properly. Instead he decided to make it into a political debate,he called it a hoax,he didn’t want to wear a mask,he didn’t want the states to close and even now when cases are still rising he’s still advocating for governor’s to open states!

My baby came into my room with tears in her eyes,not because of her own doing but because this racist, narcissist,ego driven,non accountable having troll in office decided to strok his fragile,small fitted penis instead of rolling up his sleeves and being a leader. Isn’t he supposed to be a wartime president? I’ve always wondered how someone who didn’t serve in the war or even have the balls to be a man could call himself that! Our 3 yr old has more common sense that that dumpling sitting in the office right now. It is very important for low income black and brown boys and girls to experience campus living to its fullest. To know that it’s a life outside of struggling and barely making it. To experience things that college life offers to you and Trump along with his staff of enabling “yes” men and women took that from not only my daughter but all black and brown graduates of the class of 2020.

I have been homeless,abused mentally, physically,and emotionally. I have been cheated on,been a single mom,tried suicide multiple times,and have been addicted to drugs. All those things have left scars on my heart and in my soul but having my daughter come into my room with tears filled eyes is a pain that I can’t nor will ever forget. That creature in office cost my baby an important experience and I hope every he touches in his personal life, crumbles in his hands.

Our daughter came into our room with tears in her eyes.

The pangs of raising daughters.

I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest,my daughter, someone asked me what I was having. After I told them I was pregnant with a girl her response was she didn’t want girls because they bring babies home. I didn’t think anything of it then but for some reason today,it dawned on me just now toxic that statement is.

That statement seems superficial at first,right? But let me put it into a deeper level for you. To say that girls bring babies home is to also excuse the father from being accountable. I only assume that the girl is underage or a young adult,which means the father is as well. That means,like the mom lives with her parents,the dad lives with his which means that dad should also be bringing a baby home. As much baby things that are at 1 grandparents house should also be at the other grandparents house. I’m about to make some of y’all mom’s mad when I say/write this but y’all have got to let your boys grow up and then you have to teach them to not grow up to be these toxic me kids who think their accepted by women just because you accepted it. Then I want y’all to stop looking at the woman to fix herself when really you son is the issue.

My daughter is now 18 and I won’t even pretend that she’s this innocent little girl but I’m not raising her to be a doormat either. She’s going to make mistakes along the way because that’s just life but I refuse to have her carrying the guilt of another person’s lack of raising responsible and accountable men. Why should my daughter’s carry the burden of having to be a girlfriend/wife and mother to a grown man?

Another pang of raising a daughter is the whole rape culture environment and the way that people have the need to encourage it. I had a conversation with someone when this whole R. Kelly thing came out and she felt like it was on the girls and not his grown behind self. Even when it came to Bill Cosby, people asked why the women would meet him in private knowing he’s married. Even in 2019/2020 women are expected to be model citizens while men are expected to be able to have the,”boys will be boys” mentality. The issue shouldn’t be why our daughters were a certain places nor should the issue be why our daughters wear particular clothing,the issue should be why men are forgivingly too weak to stop themselves from sexual assault and rape no matter where a woman is at and what she has on. If a woman’s location and dress made a difference why are fully clothed nuns and women who typically cover themselves up,and physically and mentally impaired women,and elderly women raped? Why are men raped? This is why that mindset of blaming women makes no since because rapist are sick individuals who don’t care about anything but the power of what rape gives them.

My final issue I want to address when it comes to raising daughters in this toxic world is the stigma of black women being these angry, bitter individuals. When did standing up for yourself and being proud of who you are become a problem? Since when did it become an issue to verbally express your positive and negative emotions? Or is it okay to have those qualities as long as you’re a man? Once again women are expected to be mute when our feelings are hurt or when we’re angry yet should be compassion when men’s feelings are hurt. I have lived that life where being quiet was expected,where when I did express myself I was told I was trippin and too emotional. When in reality my feelings were valid considering I knew what I was talking about. I wasn’t trippin,I was reacting to being done wrong. I’ve seen too many women become damaged,hold it in,and then lose their sanity only to be looked at, by both men and women,as if they have no reason to have had a mental breakdown.

I titled this blog as,”The pangs of raising daughters,” but in reality raising daughters isn’t the issue. The issue is the way men are raised to think they only they matter. That they can do whatever they want and the world will adapt to them while happily sacrificing the daughters of the world in order to protect the fragile manhood of men who can’t help themselves. It’s crazy to think that these men who can’t keep their hands to themselves,who can’t be responsible nor accountable are the same ones who are supposed to be these all knowing beings. No,that’s not crazy,it’s actually scary. It’s scary that women are dead set on protecting these men at the expense of themselves and their daughters.

Raising our daughters is annoying and hard. They are a reflection on who you were and are as a girl and a woman but that’s where the pangs should end. This blog wouldn’t even exist if y’all would raise your boys to understand the world isn’t theirs alone.

Revelation:I’m a feminist

Ironically,it was my husband who made me realize that I’m a feminist or at least feminist-ish(I know it’s not a word! LoL) and after I thought about it,I realize he’s right. I think I was denying it because I aligned feminist with being these angry women who hated men and thought all men were garbage and not needed. All I saw were angry women who couldn’t get a man so they were dead set on making them all seem like these horrible monsters. I’m so thankful for being able to evolve beyond my ignorance and my need to be a “pick me” woman.

I completely believe in equality between men and women and that includes being just as sexually free to be with whomever ever they want. Yep,I think women should be able to date and sex whoever they want while looking for a relationship or not looking for a relationship. Statically women, especially black women, don’t make the same as their racial counterparts and even less than black men yet we are just as intelligent,if not more so,and we work twice as hard. Why wouldn’t any woman want to be a feminist?

Being a feminist isn’t just something a working woman should be,it should also apply to housewives. I think housewives aren’t given enough credit. Housewives make sure the bills are paid,the kids are straight,meals are done,clothes are ironed,and do their best to make sure they’re in the best shape possible so they can look good although they’re just as tired as their mate. In my opinion being a feminist housewife means you get just as much say,if not more,about vacations, finances,and she shouldn’t have to do all the house work or deal with the deals by herself just because she’s home.

Now,I’m not the type of feminist that believes she doesn’t need a man because I feel we were all created to need each other. When I was a single mom dealing with my boys, especially my oldest son,I thought that I could handle it all. I was completely wrong because it’s some things that only a man can relate to when it comes to raising boys. I ended up getting him a male therapist/mentor and he worked wonders with my son. I didn’t need a man in my romantic life but I needed one for my personal life. This also applied to when I needed car work done or to help with heavy things I couldn’t lift. I called on a man to help me and he was needed for what I had going on. And I’m sorry,y’all but I’m not afraid to admit that my heterosexual self needs a man to touch that spot of glory. I don’t masturbate nor do I use dildos. I want and need to real thing. I need to feel the body of a man on top of me,below me,beside me,and behind me.

“All women should be a feminist because this world is stacked against y’all” that’s my husband’s quote. I 100% agree with that statement and I’ll also add that you don’t have to use another’s definition of being a feminist,make it your own and build from that.

I’m a proud feminist or feminist-ish and I’ll gladly tell anyone who has a problem with it to check their ego at the door and come back when to me when they get that chip off their shoulder.

Your passion and your deadline.

This is my 1st post on my new website! I’m so excited about this because it’s confirmation that I’m headed on the right path. This blog isn’t just for entertainment,it’s also to bring awareness to different issues:mental illness,DV/SA, and other relatable issues. I have this passion in me to help my community and that community isn’t just where I live,for me it’s a community of victims, survivors,and overcomers from all types of trauma.

What’s funny is that I thought my passion was writing books,hence the name Author Catherine Scott,and while that is my passion, I also acknowledge that I may not be ready for that right now. Yet,here I am writing this blog and plan on doing it on a daily basis so I’m still a writer just not the one I set out to be! Sorry,I just got sidetracked. My passion is writing and helping so I’ve decided to combine the 2 with this blog!

Had you caught me 1 to 3 yrs ago,you would have thought me not finishing my book was the end of the world. I thought I was a failure as a person. I,like most people,thought that since I hadn’t accomplished my goal within a certain time or deadline,that it wasn’t meant to be. As I look back at it now,I realize how foolish and damaging those types of thoughts are. Thinking that way not only stops you from focusing on your passion but it limits the different ways you can achieve your passion.

A while back I attended a conference about DV and SA because those are issues I can relate to and are important to me(passion). I decided to volunteer for the Durham Crisis Response Center so I filled out the paperwork and waited for a response. I had the interview and after being approved,I attended their training class and became an advocate of sorts. I take phone calls from victims of DV/SA and provide a listening ear and resources. I love doing this.

A little while ago I was scrolling on social media and saw a post asking for interns to participate in community work. I filled out the paperwork and was accepted. This was something new for me but my passion to help the community in which I live made me put my anxiety to the side and put my best foot forward. I work with a team where we focus on bridging the gap between the residents/businesses of our community and the city of Durham. I love being able to engage with people.

My passion of writing and helping are what helps me to feel complete. I’m so happy I didn’t put a deadline on my passion because it gave me an opportunity to make it my own.