Tales os a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian

Welcome to another week of this “GHETTO” girls Keto-Pescatarian blog. How’s your meal prep, exercise,and overall feelings going? Let me tell y’all,we have 7 kids in our house and all them,with the exception of 1,are doing virtual learning. The older kids have it under control but the kindergartner and the first grader are definitely a challenge. Shout out to all of us who are holding it down with these kids!!

I’ll start off with what I cooked. Sunday is when I cook my Southern food. Even though I’ve changed my dietary lifestyle,I still love cooking my family good soul food. On Sunday I made smothered cubed steak,collard greens,and yellow rice for them and for me I had hamburger and gravy with a nice side salad and buttery cauliflower rice. The brand of “meat” I used is called Lightlife crumples that I got from Harris Teeter for about $4. I seasoned it and added an egg and some almond flour to hold it together. I placed the burger on the stove using coconut spray and let it cool until it was done. I then put it in the oven and topped it with some beefy onion season gravy and put it in the oven at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes. Y’all it was amazingly delicious!

My next meal is spaghetti and meatballs! I used Gardein brand meatballs,which are already seasoned to my liking and about $5. Instead of regular noodles I used Nasoya brand pasta which was about $3. I didn’t do anything spectacular with this. I followed the directions on the back of both products to make it and mixed the meatballs with the noodles and some spaghetti sauce. I usually use pizza sauce because it’s slightly less in carbs but I didn’t have any so substituted it. I added some parm cheese and had a side of salad (one of my favorite foods is salad) and y’all I was in Keto-Pescatarian heaven!

I know this lifestyle change is something new and challenging but it’s so worth it. I’ve lost a lot of weight and that’s with me having to stop working out due to homeschooling. I’m going to start back but I have to find the time to do so because y’all……it’s a battle with everything that’s going on to keep up with the health needs of myself but I will do it! Life is a journey of ups and downs and it’s how we react to the downs that keep us going.

Remember if you can’t budget for that dress than you can budget for your health!

Your words and your actions.

First I want to say that we lost an amazing black actor who made us feel like we were right there with Jackie Robinson, Thurgood Marshall,and James Brown. In the black culture,he played a huge role in wanting us to pack our belongings and move to this fictional Wakanda. In Black Panther,we saw how beautiful and diverse we were and are as a people. Chadwick, embodied what it was to be a strong black man who loved a strong black woman. He will be missed by all of us but especially his wife, family,and friends. We lost someone beautiful both inside and out and he will always be remembered.

I posted the above images for a few reasons. The first being that even though he was fighting colon cancer, he was still able to give those encouragement with his words and despite knowing he would be ridiculed,he still made a video. Do you know how much passion and dedication it had to take to show just how fragile you had become? Most of us won’t even take a pic without being in the right light but this man had the courage to go live in order to be encouraging. This is something that should put perspective into our lives. It should help us to worry more about our goals than we worry about the opinions and thoughts of others.

Chadwick was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in 2016 which means he probably had cancer before then but didn’t realize it. Since 2016 he’s made 10 movies,one of which is TBA (To Be Announced). Also let me add that his friends and family that knew he was sick also kept that secret to themselves. Anyway,he couldn’t have been feeling well every moment of every day that he was on set,yet he was still able to give himself 100% to every scene he was in. He gave interviews and appeared on various TV shows all while keeping his health issues to himself. He preservered through the pain in order to give us, his culture,his best. Listen k,I don’t know about you but looking at his example,I’m determined to keep giving my best with every blog,with every hour I do volunteer work,and for every person I deal with no matter what I have going on. His example makes me want to continue to work on my passion no matter the roadblocks.

Finally and even more importantly,I want to address those who talked about his weight loss in a negative way. I never saw him during his weight loss but apparently those who did were making jokes about him being a crack head,as if being addicted to drugs was anything to laugh at. Since his death I saw different people addressing those who had negative comments about his weight loss. This got me to thinking about my own verbal attacks in middle and high school. I was severely abused during those years of middle and high school. I had been beat so badly that I had to go to the hospital. I wasn’t fed every night and at times had to sleep in an enclosed back porch. I was also verbally attacked being called anything from a ho to a bitch. I wasn’t given the same name brand shoes or clothes as my siblings and because I didn’t have the know how,my hair wasn’t kept up like others so needless to say school was hard. I was smart and nice but kids in middle and high school don’t care about any of that. All that matters is your looks,your hair,your clothes,and your shoes. Nobody knew I was going thru pure hell at home only to go to school and be called ugly and be picked on. Sometimes the only time I got to eat or sleep well was at school. Having to face name calling at home and then at school made me attempt suicide a few times. I was in hell all the time and not too many people knew it. I hated being at home and I hated going to school. After a while,I became a picked on bully in high school and dared a mofo talk ish about me where I could hear it. I would stand up in the middle of class and curse you out because I had nothing to lose,my life was already hard. Those are the thoughts I had as I was looking at the posts about people taking about Chadwick’s weigh loss.

You actions and words can either make or break you and the ones you’re addressing. Your ignorance always hurts more than you think because you didn’t take the time to understand the ways before you reacted. Apologies are always helpful but sometimes it doesn’t help because the reinforced pain has already been established. It takes a lot for the victim to be able to bounce back from pain and it’s something we can’t nor shouldn’t take for granted. So remember the next time you decided to open your mouth or react negatively,that your ignorance could be the pushing point for the person you’re targeting.

Getting to know Us

This is an introductory to who we are as a married couple and as individuals. We created this because we realized that no matter the type of relationship we have rather it be friendship or something more, we all deal with some type of L word. It ranges from Loss to Love and we are here to talk about all of it.

Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian

Heyyyyyyyyy everyone!! How’s tthe new lifestyle going? Anyone losing weight or inches? Are you feeling any better in any type is way? I went out of town with my husband and our 2 oldest kids just to relax at the beach. I was wondering if I would be able to still indulge in my new dietary lifestyle without being too tempted and I must say I did better than I thought I would. I did cheat a bit but it came back to bite me in the behind! LoL! I’mma tell you about it a little later. First I’ll tell you what I ate while I was there.

The 1st night was kinda difficult because I didn’t really take the time to research what restaurants would be open around my dinner time and as I wrote before I try not to eat too late although it happens more than I would like. Anyway,I go to the closest seafood restaurant I could find and ordered a salad and clam chowder….I know,I know it has potatoes but it was the closest thing I could find that had no meat. (SN:we went to Carolina Beach and I had no idea that we would be the only black faces everywhere we went. When I walked into the restaurant y’all should have seen their faces. Here I am with colorful clothes on and a mask that says,”Number 1 Queen”. The stares were annoying,yet expected). Okay,back to my experience. The salad was okay, nothing to write home about as far as the clam chowder goes…….I’ve tasted better clam chowder out of a can. When I first tasted it,I thought oh this is different but then when I took another bite,I realized just how nasty it was. It was kind of a catch 22 because I shouldn’t have been eating it but I still spent the money to get it. That night I ended up eating the mediocre salad and the cheese and veges off of a pizza.

Okay,so lesson learned and appreciated. The next morning I found a place that all of us could eat at and be satisfied. Give me a moment to tell you about that restaurant. For breakfast I had bought some Morning Star sausage links which is around $4 and I had spinach egg white frittata made by Garden Lites which was also around $4,and some blueberries. That along with drinking water filled me up until dinner. I know a lot of us drink while on vacation and I’m no exception to that rule. I had bought some Smirnoff and Barefoot Seltzer alcohol drinks that are also low carb. I’ll admit that at dinner I did order 2 mixed drinks that I know was high in carbs. Listen treat yourself and work it off later. The restaurant we went for dinner,again the only black faces,was really delicious. I had a salad, a squash mix, scallops,shrimp,and black drum fish and y’all it was delicious and very filling. *pic below*

I one recipe that I made was fried fish in my air fryer. It really wasn’t much to it. I used Swai fish which was about $6 from Walmart and almond flour which was about $8. I seasoned my fish the way I normally would as did the same with the almond flour. I sprayed my fryer with coconut spray and dipped the fish into the flour and then the egg wash. I put it in the egg wash(2 beaten eggs)and then I put it in my air fryer for about 20 minutes at 320 degrees. The length of time depends upon the thickness of the fish you use. I also think length depends on the type of air fryer that you have. The fish came out really good and without all the extra grease and I ate it with a side salad! I make my salad myself using a regular garden salad but I add blue and feta cheese crumbles,eggs,and some almond and cranberry mix. Y’all,I was in black “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian heaven!!

Remember if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health! See you next week!

The Black Woman

This Meg the Stallion situation with Tory Lanez has had me in my black woman feelings. We are at the forefront of every movement when it comes to black men but when it’s our turn to get that same energy,we are continuously let down.

When will she speak: Whenever someone asks that question I automatically know just how ignorant they are going to be. A victim is the person who actually received the trauma which means they are the ones who have to process the pain and that also means they should only speak when they’re ready to do so. It’s absolutely ridiculous that we want to rush the victim to speak,not caring that speaking before they’re ready could cause further trauma. We are absolutely selfish and I’m becoming more and more aware of it everyday. We selfishly want the victim to speak just to be able to get all the juicy details and to be able to call her a liar and poke holes in her story. I want you to take note that when black women rally behind black men,we don’t ask for them to hurry up and tell their story instead we offer comfort and love, patience and understanding,and healing and soft spoken words.

She’s lying. Something isn’t adding up: I can’t tell you how annoying those lines are even more so when they come from other black women. Meg came out and said she didn’t say anything because she wanted to protect this manchild. Is that really a foreign concept? How many of us have done the same thing? We have protected our man or our male relatives in some sort of way knowing they should have been in jail so it’s crazy to me that you forget that just because it’s not your story. Which part is she lying about? The part where he shot her? Cause if that’s the case,I need a reliable source that says he didn’t. What’s not adding up? I’ve seen comments saying her story keeps changing (I haven’t seen that) but if you took the time to look into trauma as you do into knocking Meg and any other victim,than you’d know how trauma affects the brain. Just in case you’re interested and you believe knowledge is power than here’s a link to help you understand: https://youtu.be/4-tcKYx24aA. I want to point out again that when we rally behind our black men we don’t call them liars nor do we question their stories. In fact we go over and beyond,often times to our own sanity,to prove that they are victims and should receive justice. Mind you,we rushed them to tell what happened only to turn around and question them.

She shouldn’t have…….: For me this one is probably the most aggravating one. It’s because we have this habit of telling black women what they should and shouldn’t do instead of addressing the men who prey on and victimize us. It’s the whole “boy’s will be boys” but black women need to be modest in order to prevent themselves from becoming a victim. Nevermind that a sicko is a sicko no matter where we’re at or what we wear. What shouldn’t she have done? Not be at a party? Not be in a relationship with Lanez? It’s amazing to me that men are allowed to make these mistakes and are patted on the back for realizing their error but women are criticized beyond comparison. We can’t even show our anger or express our frustrations without being called bitter black women or made to feel that our natural feelings are the reason that black men run to white women. When we rally behind our black men we don’t say that they should have listened to the cop or that they shouldn’t have been at a place or been around particular people. Black women make it known that it doesn’t matter where they were at or who they were with because it didn’t mean they were guilty or even deserved what they got.

When our black men are attacked, stressed,put in life and death situations black women have proven throughout history that we hold them down. We form protests,we make plates,we babysit,we start petitions and go fund me accounts to show love for our black men. We loudly scream,”No Justice No Peace” as we march beside our men. We go to jail with our fists raised high in the air proudly because we did what was needed for our black men. For hundreds of years we have protected our black men even to our death and for hundreds of years black men and their pick me’s have willingly thrown us to the wolves. This rerun is a show that we,as black women,are tired of and so I say this will all the black woman power within me and those women like me:GO EFF YOURSELVES.

Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian

How y’all doing? A new week,a new day,a better health!! I wanted to reiterate why I call this Tales of a GHETTO Keto-Pescatarian. I’m a black woman in the low income bracket,with a full family and life who lives in low income housing. I decided to start my new dietary lifestyle after two MD visits that had me with high blood pressure. Thankfully,it wasn’t concerning enough that my doctor felt I needed meds but it was a wake up call for me to get my health in order. I begin to think about the amount of women within my community who also want to eat healthier but don’t think they can afford to or have the time to do so. I also know that black women, statically,are more susceptible to health dieases than our counterparts so while anyone can benefit from this,I wanted to make sure that low income black women would realize they could eat healthier and do some exercise when possible.

On keto,you eat little to no carbs and as a pescatarian seafood is the only meat you eat. I do both so I’m a Keto-Pescatarian. When I told one of my bestie’s that I no longer ate meat,she asked me to repeat what I said and got silent for a few minutes before we both laughed. The truth we have become to used to eating meat that it seems crazy when you tell someone that you no longer do. In all honesty,I was actually getting tired of eating meat so for me the transition wasn’t that hard.

This week I was craving baked Mac N Cheese but being on keto means little to no carbs which means no pasta so I used cauliflower instead plus I had some crab meat so I decided to add that to the mix. I don’t buy the crab meat from the aisle,I use the one in the seafood section but I’m sure the one on the aisle is still good. I got mine on sale a Harris Teeter for $9.00. I already had a big bag of mexican blend cheese because we love cheese in our household but I also bought a block of pepper jack cheese that was on sale for $2.00 at Food Lion. I also had to buy some cauliflower because I ran out and that was no more than $3.00,the whipping cream was no more than $2.00 and because I like my Mac a cheese a little on the spicy side,I also bought some jalapenos in the can for $.88 oh and some cream cheese for $.90. I combine the cheeses and mix it with heavy whipping cream and 1 to 2 eggs to make it all stick together. I cut my cauliflower into pieces and I let it boil until tender. While that’s boiling,I get my cheese mixture heated up and of course I season as I go. After the cauliflower is done boiling,I drain and put in a bowl and I mix my cheese in with the cauliflower and then I add the crab meat into the mixture and stir it all up. I taste to make sure it’s delicious and the I place it my pan that’s already sprayed with coconut spray and put in my pre-heated oven that’s already set at 350 degrees. I let it bake until the cheese turns a slight brown and voila you have baked cauliflower and cheese with crab meat. You don’t have to follow my recipe for the sauce. You can make it how you want. Remember,make it work for you!!

My next favorite meal of the week was putting my Morning Star burger vege grillers and my Delight Soy chicken patties on the grill! For the bun,I used low carb tortilla wraps! Y’all remember I told you I don’t like avocados but since they’re a source of healthy fats,I eat them as often as I can by adding them to my food. So I grilled a few avacado slices as well and added them to my sandwich. So I had one of each and added a slice of tomato, cheese, lettuce,keto mayo,and some mustard. I love a good salad so with my vege burger and soy chicken I also had a side salad! It was AMAZING!!  Both products were about $5.00 a piece and while they don’t come with a lot in a pack,they are very filling. The tortilla wraps were about $3.50.

Oh and I recently discovered a few alcohol drinks that’s low in carbs. White Claw, Smirnoff Seltzer,and Barefoot Seltzer. It’s some others I can’t think of at the moment but they’re all pretty good to me. I’ve lost about another pound and a half and my blood pressure went from 150 something to 130 something! I still have goals to meet but my MD is definitely impressed and so am I!!

Remember,if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health!!

This marriage thing

My husband and I were having some serious issues in our marriage. It seemed like every other day or week we were arguing over something small and I was packing my bags to leave. We knew we loved each other but we had so much baggage that we didn’t know if love would be enough.
This man fought harder for me than I did for him to the point that he put me in a position to have to address him with my readiness to leave him and our kids. That’s when him and I both realized our arguments were superficially over small things but we actually had bigger issues.
We had couples therapy before but really didn’t do anything with it but in this conversation we used all we had learned and applied it. Before I go into that conversation let me tell y’all about our background.

I met my husband over 20 yrs ago in Durham at a mall. He was his oldest child with him who was crying for whatever reason but even that didn’t stop me from wanting to talk to him. One thing led to another and he became my 1st everything. My first love,my first partner,my first source of security in a life where death seemed better than life. He made sure I not only ate but that I didn’t throw it back up,he provided me with a place to sleep and gave me the love I so desperately needed at the time. I thought it would never end but…….life isn’t a fairy tale.

He lost his place and ended up moving to another county and I stayed in Durham. We saw each other as often as we could but eventually he started doing his thing and at the time I was content with just being in his life no matter who I had to share him with. Eventually,I found out I was pregnant and was very hurt when he told me he wasn’t going to be their for our child but that didn’t stop me from continuing to allow him in my bed nor my heart. At the time I knew that he loved me but what I didn’t realize is that his words didn’t match his behaviors. LESSON!!

Eventually,I decided to move on with my life and I met someone else though I didn’t stop messing my 1st love. Once again,I became pregnant but this time I wasn’t sure who the father was. Listen, I’m not the 1st nor am I the last woman to be caught out there slipping but I made sure to tell both of them the truth up front. I just didn’t have the energy to keep up the lie when it came to a situation like that. The guy I was dating decided to raise that baby as his own just as we was doing with my 1st child. I stopped being intimate with my 1st but we remained friends. I ended up getting married to the guy who raised my kids as his own and I got the family that I always wanted by being married into his.

Who here understands that when you ignore the writing on the wall that the writing eventually slaps you in the face and hands you consequences? LESSON!!  Let me tell you that marriage of mine was no exception to the rule. I ignored the writing on the wall and became a Mrs. and because of a rape I became pregnant again. So I’m now a mom of 3 with none of my kids being the biological children of my then husband but he was willing to raise all three of them as his and they were all welcomed to his family. Life comes with twists and turns,don’t let someone tell you otherwise.

About a yr after I had my 3 child I divorced my husband. I just got to the point where I was tired and when i went in on him so hard that I blanked out,I knew it was time for me to let it go and I did! LESSON!! After the divorce I decided to stop having sex and focus on myself,my mental health,and my kids. I got therapy and became a better person until…..my 1st love came back. Looking back at it,I should have told him no but the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wanted him. I became that young lady I was we I first met him and it was heaven until he had a mental breakdown and ended up inside a mental institution. A few days later I found out I was pregnant once again and I was on my own to raise this baby. I didn’t care that this time his mental capacity was low all I cared about was that he had played me again. Thankfully,I had the support of my friends and family because not only was I raising 4 kids by myself,the baby I was pregnant with ended up having and still does have GI issues. He’s been in and out the hospital since birth. As I continued my therapy,I once again became strong and once again I decided to be celibate. Wouldn’t you know it,her comes my love back into my life but I was different this time around. I knew and accepted that I was worth more than words,I was worth actions! LESSON!! When I asked him if he could be with me and only me,he couldn’t tell me yes so I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do to him. I left him alone. I dropped him off at the bus terminal and cried my eyes out on the way back but I knew I was doing what was best for me. A few days later he called me and told me that he knew he didn’t want to be without me having me kick him out was eye opening and needed to be done to give him a reality check.

Marriage,a birth,and another birth and we were at a standstill. Well, really I was at a standstill. We decided to get marriage counseling and it helped but we didn’t use what we learned on a consistent basis and there we were wondering what I wanted to do. I wanted to make this work and to do that we had to apply what we learned. We allowed our conversation to flow in a peaceful environment which meant no tv,no kids,and no phones. It was just him and I expressing myself. I told him I was still angry for how I was done. He told me all he could do was apologize and make it right. I told him that I loved him but thought we should have gotten to know each other again before we got married. He told me we can’t go back in time so our options are to work it out or let it go. He told me he wasn’t ready to let it go and that he lives for me and our family. He told me my mouth was reckless but he know understood why. We let each other know all the things that irritated us about each other and then we talked about all the things we enjoyed about the other. We listened and not just heard. We allowed our hearts and our minds to speak and we followed it with our words. This was probably one of the most difficult yet enlightening conversations we’d ever had and in all honesty our marriage has improved from it.

I’ll never tell anyone to stay in a marriage just because of history,kids,or any other reason but I will tell any and everyone that this marriage thing is hard. It requires patience and understanding. Love and wisdom. Compromises and uncomfortable conversations. This isn’t tv and your marriage shouldn’t be compared to another person’s. Marriage doesn’t come with 100% lifetime guarantee. What it comes with is good and bad times,sad and happy moments, confusion and insight. More than anything is comes with another imperfect person who’s perfectly made for you.