This is an introductory to who we are as a married couple and as individuals. We created this because we realized that no matter the type of relationship we have rather it be friendship or something more, we all deal with some type of L word. It ranges from Loss to Love and we are here to talk about all of it.
Heyyyyyyyyy everyone!! How’s tthe new lifestyle going? Anyone losing weight or inches? Are you feeling any better in any type is way? I went out of town with my husband and our 2 oldest kids just to relax at the beach. I was wondering if I would be able to still indulge in my new dietary lifestyle without being too tempted and I must say I did better than I thought I would. I did cheat a bit but it came back to bite me in the behind! LoL! I’mma tell you about it a little later. First I’ll tell you what I ate while I was there.
The 1st night was kinda difficult because I didn’t really take the time to research what restaurants would be open around my dinner time and as I wrote before I try not to eat too late although it happens more than I would like. Anyway,I go to the closest seafood restaurant I could find and ordered a salad and clam chowder….I know,I know it has potatoes but it was the closest thing I could find that had no meat. (SN:we went to Carolina Beach and I had no idea that we would be the only black faces everywhere we went. When I walked into the restaurant y’all should have seen their faces. Here I am with colorful clothes on and a mask that says,”Number 1 Queen”. The stares were annoying,yet expected). Okay,back to my experience. The salad was okay, nothing to write home about as far as the clam chowder goes…….I’ve tasted better clam chowder out of a can. When I first tasted it,I thought oh this is different but then when I took another bite,I realized just how nasty it was. It was kind of a catch 22 because I shouldn’t have been eating it but I still spent the money to get it. That night I ended up eating the mediocre salad and the cheese and veges off of a pizza.
Okay,so lesson learned and appreciated. The next morning I found a place that all of us could eat at and be satisfied. Give me a moment to tell you about that restaurant. For breakfast I had bought some Morning Star sausage links which is around $4 and I had spinach egg white frittata made by Garden Lites which was also around $4,and some blueberries. That along with drinking water filled me up until dinner. I know a lot of us drink while on vacation and I’m no exception to that rule. I had bought some Smirnoff and Barefoot Seltzer alcohol drinks that are also low carb. I’ll admit that at dinner I did order 2 mixed drinks that I know was high in carbs. Listen treat yourself and work it off later. The restaurant we went for dinner,again the only black faces,was really delicious. I had a salad, a squash mix, scallops,shrimp,and black drum fish and y’all it was delicious and very filling. *pic below*
I one recipe that I made was fried fish in my air fryer. It really wasn’t much to it. I used Swai fish which was about $6 from Walmart and almond flour which was about $8. I seasoned my fish the way I normally would as did the same with the almond flour. I sprayed my fryer with coconut spray and dipped the fish into the flour and then the egg wash. I put it in the egg wash(2 beaten eggs)and then I put it in my air fryer for about 20 minutes at 320 degrees. The length of time depends upon the thickness of the fish you use. I also think length depends on the type of air fryer that you have. The fish came out really good and without all the extra grease and I ate it with a side salad! I make my salad myself using a regular garden salad but I add blue and feta cheese crumbles,eggs,and some almond and cranberry mix. Y’all,I was in black “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian heaven!!
Remember if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health! See you next week!
This Meg the Stallion situation with Tory Lanez has had me in my black woman feelings. We are at the forefront of every movement when it comes to black men but when it’s our turn to get that same energy,we are continuously let down.
When will she speak: Whenever someone asks that question I automatically know just how ignorant they are going to be. A victim is the person who actually received the trauma which means they are the ones who have to process the pain and that also means they should only speak when they’re ready to do so. It’s absolutely ridiculous that we want to rush the victim to speak,not caring that speaking before they’re ready could cause further trauma. We are absolutely selfish and I’m becoming more and more aware of it everyday. We selfishly want the victim to speak just to be able to get all the juicy details and to be able to call her a liar and poke holes in her story. I want you to take note that when black women rally behind black men,we don’t ask for them to hurry up and tell their story instead we offer comfort and love, patience and understanding,and healing and soft spoken words.
She’s lying. Something isn’t adding up: I can’t tell you how annoying those lines are even more so when they come from other black women. Meg came out and said she didn’t say anything because she wanted to protect this manchild. Is that really a foreign concept? How many of us have done the same thing? We have protected our man or our male relatives in some sort of way knowing they should have been in jail so it’s crazy to me that you forget that just because it’s not your story. Which part is she lying about? The part where he shot her? Cause if that’s the case,I need a reliable source that says he didn’t. What’s not adding up? I’ve seen comments saying her story keeps changing (I haven’t seen that) but if you took the time to look into trauma as you do into knocking Meg and any other victim,than you’d know how trauma affects the brain. Just in case you’re interested and you believe knowledge is power than here’s a link to help you understand: https://youtu.be/4-tcKYx24aA. I want to point out again that when we rally behind our black men we don’t call them liars nor do we question their stories. In fact we go over and beyond,often times to our own sanity,to prove that they are victims and should receive justice. Mind you,we rushed them to tell what happened only to turn around and question them.
She shouldn’t have…….: For me this one is probably the most aggravating one. It’s because we have this habit of telling black women what they should and shouldn’t do instead of addressing the men who prey on and victimize us. It’s the whole “boy’s will be boys” but black women need to be modest in order to prevent themselves from becoming a victim. Nevermind that a sicko is a sicko no matter where we’re at or what we wear. What shouldn’t she have done? Not be at a party? Not be in a relationship with Lanez? It’s amazing to me that men are allowed to make these mistakes and are patted on the back for realizing their error but women are criticized beyond comparison. We can’t even show our anger or express our frustrations without being called bitter black women or made to feel that our natural feelings are the reason that black men run to white women. When we rally behind our black men we don’t say that they should have listened to the cop or that they shouldn’t have been at a place or been around particular people. Black women make it known that it doesn’t matter where they were at or who they were with because it didn’t mean they were guilty or even deserved what they got.
When our black men are attacked, stressed,put in life and death situations black women have proven throughout history that we hold them down. We form protests,we make plates,we babysit,we start petitions and go fund me accounts to show love for our black men. We loudly scream,”No Justice No Peace” as we march beside our men. We go to jail with our fists raised high in the air proudly because we did what was needed for our black men. For hundreds of years we have protected our black men even to our death and for hundreds of years black men and their pick me’s have willingly thrown us to the wolves. This rerun is a show that we,as black women,are tired of and so I say this will all the black woman power within me and those women like me:GO EFF YOURSELVES.
How y’all doing? A new week,a new day,a better health!! I wanted to reiterate why I call this Tales of a GHETTO Keto-Pescatarian. I’m a black woman in the low income bracket,with a full family and life who lives in low income housing. I decided to start my new dietary lifestyle after two MD visits that had me with high blood pressure. Thankfully,it wasn’t concerning enough that my doctor felt I needed meds but it was a wake up call for me to get my health in order. I begin to think about the amount of women within my community who also want to eat healthier but don’t think they can afford to or have the time to do so. I also know that black women, statically,are more susceptible to health dieases than our counterparts so while anyone can benefit from this,I wanted to make sure that low income black women would realize they could eat healthier and do some exercise when possible.
On keto,you eat little to no carbs and as a pescatarian seafood is the only meat you eat. I do both so I’m a Keto-Pescatarian. When I told one of my bestie’s that I no longer ate meat,she asked me to repeat what I said and got silent for a few minutes before we both laughed. The truth we have become to used to eating meat that it seems crazy when you tell someone that you no longer do. In all honesty,I was actually getting tired of eating meat so for me the transition wasn’t that hard.
This week I was craving baked Mac N Cheese but being on keto means little to no carbs which means no pasta so I used cauliflower instead plus I had some crab meat so I decided to add that to the mix. I don’t buy the crab meat from the aisle,I use the one in the seafood section but I’m sure the one on the aisle is still good. I got mine on sale a Harris Teeter for $9.00. I already had a big bag of mexican blend cheese because we love cheese in our household but I also bought a block of pepper jack cheese that was on sale for $2.00 at Food Lion. I also had to buy some cauliflower because I ran out and that was no more than $3.00,the whipping cream was no more than $2.00 and because I like my Mac a cheese a little on the spicy side,I also bought some jalapenos in the can for $.88 oh and some cream cheese for $.90. I combine the cheeses and mix it with heavy whipping cream and 1 to 2 eggs to make it all stick together. I cut my cauliflower into pieces and I let it boil until tender. While that’s boiling,I get my cheese mixture heated up and of course I season as I go. After the cauliflower is done boiling,I drain and put in a bowl and I mix my cheese in with the cauliflower and then I add the crab meat into the mixture and stir it all up. I taste to make sure it’s delicious and the I place it my pan that’s already sprayed with coconut spray and put in my pre-heated oven that’s already set at 350 degrees. I let it bake until the cheese turns a slight brown and voila you have baked cauliflower and cheese with crab meat. You don’t have to follow my recipe for the sauce. You can make it how you want. Remember,make it work for you!!
My next favorite meal of the week was putting my Morning Star burger vege grillers and my Delight Soy chicken patties on the grill! For the bun,I used low carb tortilla wraps! Y’all remember I told you I don’t like avocados but since they’re a source of healthy fats,I eat them as often as I can by adding them to my food. So I grilled a few avacado slices as well and added them to my sandwich. So I had one of each and added a slice of tomato, cheese, lettuce,keto mayo,and some mustard. I love a good salad so with my vege burger and soy chicken I also had a side salad! It was AMAZING!! Both products were about $5.00 a piece and while they don’t come with a lot in a pack,they are very filling. The tortilla wraps were about $3.50.
Oh and I recently discovered a few alcohol drinks that’s low in carbs. White Claw, Smirnoff Seltzer,and Barefoot Seltzer. It’s some others I can’t think of at the moment but they’re all pretty good to me. I’ve lost about another pound and a half and my blood pressure went from 150 something to 130 something! I still have goals to meet but my MD is definitely impressed and so am I!!
Remember,if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health!!
My husband and I were having some serious issues in our marriage. It seemed like every other day or week we were arguing over something small and I was packing my bags to leave. We knew we loved each other but we had so much baggage that we didn’t know if love would be enough.
This man fought harder for me than I did for him to the point that he put me in a position to have to address him with my readiness to leave him and our kids. That’s when him and I both realized our arguments were superficially over small things but we actually had bigger issues.
We had couples therapy before but really didn’t do anything with it but in this conversation we used all we had learned and applied it. Before I go into that conversation let me tell y’all about our background.
I met my husband over 20 yrs ago in Durham at a mall. He was his oldest child with him who was crying for whatever reason but even that didn’t stop me from wanting to talk to him. One thing led to another and he became my 1st everything. My first love,my first partner,my first source of security in a life where death seemed better than life. He made sure I not only ate but that I didn’t throw it back up,he provided me with a place to sleep and gave me the love I so desperately needed at the time. I thought it would never end but…….life isn’t a fairy tale.
He lost his place and ended up moving to another county and I stayed in Durham. We saw each other as often as we could but eventually he started doing his thing and at the time I was content with just being in his life no matter who I had to share him with. Eventually,I found out I was pregnant and was very hurt when he told me he wasn’t going to be their for our child but that didn’t stop me from continuing to allow him in my bed nor my heart. At the time I knew that he loved me but what I didn’t realize is that his words didn’t match his behaviors. LESSON!!
Eventually,I decided to move on with my life and I met someone else though I didn’t stop messing my 1st love. Once again,I became pregnant but this time I wasn’t sure who the father was. Listen, I’m not the 1st nor am I the last woman to be caught out there slipping but I made sure to tell both of them the truth up front. I just didn’t have the energy to keep up the lie when it came to a situation like that. The guy I was dating decided to raise that baby as his own just as we was doing with my 1st child. I stopped being intimate with my 1st but we remained friends. I ended up getting married to the guy who raised my kids as his own and I got the family that I always wanted by being married into his.
Who here understands that when you ignore the writing on the wall that the writing eventually slaps you in the face and hands you consequences? LESSON!! Let me tell you that marriage of mine was no exception to the rule. I ignored the writing on the wall and became a Mrs. and because of a rape I became pregnant again. So I’m now a mom of 3 with none of my kids being the biological children of my then husband but he was willing to raise all three of them as his and they were all welcomed to his family. Life comes with twists and turns,don’t let someone tell you otherwise.
About a yr after I had my 3 child I divorced my husband. I just got to the point where I was tired and when i went in on him so hard that I blanked out,I knew it was time for me to let it go and I did! LESSON!! After the divorce I decided to stop having sex and focus on myself,my mental health,and my kids. I got therapy and became a better person until…..my 1st love came back. Looking back at it,I should have told him no but the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wanted him. I became that young lady I was we I first met him and it was heaven until he had a mental breakdown and ended up inside a mental institution. A few days later I found out I was pregnant once again and I was on my own to raise this baby. I didn’t care that this time his mental capacity was low all I cared about was that he had played me again. Thankfully,I had the support of my friends and family because not only was I raising 4 kids by myself,the baby I was pregnant with ended up having and still does have GI issues. He’s been in and out the hospital since birth. As I continued my therapy,I once again became strong and once again I decided to be celibate. Wouldn’t you know it,her comes my love back into my life but I was different this time around. I knew and accepted that I was worth more than words,I was worth actions! LESSON!! When I asked him if he could be with me and only me,he couldn’t tell me yes so I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do to him. I left him alone. I dropped him off at the bus terminal and cried my eyes out on the way back but I knew I was doing what was best for me. A few days later he called me and told me that he knew he didn’t want to be without me having me kick him out was eye opening and needed to be done to give him a reality check.
Marriage,a birth,and another birth and we were at a standstill. Well, really I was at a standstill. We decided to get marriage counseling and it helped but we didn’t use what we learned on a consistent basis and there we were wondering what I wanted to do. I wanted to make this work and to do that we had to apply what we learned. We allowed our conversation to flow in a peaceful environment which meant no tv,no kids,and no phones. It was just him and I expressing myself. I told him I was still angry for how I was done. He told me all he could do was apologize and make it right. I told him that I loved him but thought we should have gotten to know each other again before we got married. He told me we can’t go back in time so our options are to work it out or let it go. He told me he wasn’t ready to let it go and that he lives for me and our family. He told me my mouth was reckless but he know understood why. We let each other know all the things that irritated us about each other and then we talked about all the things we enjoyed about the other. We listened and not just heard. We allowed our hearts and our minds to speak and we followed it with our words. This was probably one of the most difficult yet enlightening conversations we’d ever had and in all honesty our marriage has improved from it.
I’ll never tell anyone to stay in a marriage just because of history,kids,or any other reason but I will tell any and everyone that this marriage thing is hard. It requires patience and understanding. Love and wisdom. Compromises and uncomfortable conversations. This isn’t tv and your marriage shouldn’t be compared to another person’s. Marriage doesn’t come with 100% lifetime guarantee. What it comes with is good and bad times,sad and happy moments, confusion and insight. More than anything is comes with another imperfect person who’s perfectly made for you.
Welcome back! How’s everyone’s lifestyle change going? Just remember to keep to it and forgive yourself if you mess up. Keep in mind that your path of healthy living is for you to walk so ignore any negativity that may come your way and celebrate your milestones with an extra gulp of water!
DISCLAIMER:Always talk to your MD about your exercise program as well as any vitamins or supplements that you take. So last week I told you all that I’d give you insight on my exercise routine and what I ate. So here we go!!
Cardio is definitely needed to burn those calories and to keep that heart pumping. As I wrote before,I have a full life. I’m married with 7 kids in the house,I volunteer for 2 different advocacy type groups,and I try to make time for personal and professional goals so my life is full but I’m learning how to budget it just as I budget my bills. I usually get up early in the morning,between 5:30 and 6,so that’s when I get up to start my day. I drink some water,take my multivitamins,stretch,and put on my workout clothes which includes a sauna type of vest and pants because I have a hard time sweating and sweat is what helps you to lost weight. Where I walk/jog/run depends on how long I feel like driving. I’m not a fan of trails because I have a fear of snakes and where I live the trails can be wooded so I go to a park near my house that has sidewalk or a pathway or I go to a place here in Durham,called Duke Wall. I become bored easily so I try to walk 30 minutes to an hour and in-between walking I also do squats. Next week,I plan on seeing how I can carry my yoga mat in order to do push-ups and sit-ups in-between walking as well but for now,I just do those at home. I always suggest bringing your phone and earbuds with you because music seems to be a huge motivator for a lot of people. Also,if you have a bookbag/backpack laying around or something similar to it,I suggest putting as many cold bottles of water you think you may need during your time outside. Not only does the cold water help to keep you hydrated but it also can be a coolant for your back since it’s going to be against your skin!
I’ve been having fun in eating Keto-Pescatarian foods! I’ve decided to give y’all one or two recepies that I cooked throughout the week. I’ll start with avacado stuffed tuna salad because it was simple,fast,and inexpensive. I paid no more that $10 to $15 for everything. I got everything from Walmart except for the mayo. The avacado’s came 3-5 in a bag for no more than $4 and that was the organic ones! The eggs,which I buy anyway for us,and the onions,that I buy a bag of anyway, came to no more than $5. The items that I bought are items that I was buying before my lifestyle change except the avocados and these items are also come with more than just one. I guess if you want to be technical,you didn’t buy anything different but one thing that was an additional $4 to $6 including the tuna. Budget and perspective goes a long way. The mayo I bought was just by chance. I was in Food Lion looking for something and saw Keto Mayo and decided to buy it. This was about $6 I believe and it’s more of a want than a need. You can use regular mayo but try to find it as a light mayo and pay attention to the amount of carbs on the label. Now I’m not a Keto-Pescatarian warrior so I tend to be lax in the ingredients I use. I subtract the carbs from the fiber and that’s how I do the math for my particular carb intake. Try to watch the sugar percentage too but that’s also something I don’t stress over too much.
The actual recipe:Make your tuna salad as you usually would. I prefer the tuna packets over the can but the cans are cheaper. I love eggs in my tuna salad but you don’t have to do that. If you do,remove the yolk after boiling. I mixed together the tuna,eggs,mayo,some red onions,and add pepper and salt. I prefer sea salt or pink himalayan salt but again,this is a budget blog from a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian so regular salt is fine just be careful about the amount you use. I cut the avacado’s in half,threw away the seed,and put the tuna salad in. I ate 2 of these with some zucchini noodles and my water! It was good, healthy,and delicious. Again,I’m not a fan of avacados but since they’re a source of healthy fats,I try to use them. When eating this dish I made sure to mix as much of the avacado with the salad as I could. I hope you enjoy this recipe. Let me know how you liked it.
My other recipe I’ll tell you about is my my creole, blackened shrimp with marinated zucchini,peppers,and eggplants. The mix I bought from the frozen food section of Walmart for about $5 and the shrimp was no more than $5. The seasonings were no more than $5 as well. I already buy butter for my family so that wasn’t an additional expense. Keep in mind,you don’t have to use the whole bag of shrimp or the whole bag veges so this is actually a 2 meal type of vibe. I prefer the shrimp to already have its tail off and deveined because I’m a woman on the go. I cooked the veges as recommended on the bag and the shrimp I sauteed with a little unsalted butter and added creole and blackened seasonings. I then added them together and voila you have a healthy meal! It was filling and delicious. Of course,I drank my water with my meal. Let me know what you think of this recipe.
Some pointers with your lifestyle and eating: whenever you get hungry after eating dinner,drink water. I keep a jug of water on my nightstand to drink whenever hunger strikes. Because I’m part of the low income community and I have a large family,I bought a lot of seasonings and other healthy foods along the way. Remember your budget is yours to work with. Don’t try to buy everything at one time. Despite what everyone says eating healthy for low income people is not an easy or affordable feat. When you have the budget to do so,look into unsalted butter, healthier salts,and so forth. Your healthy lifestyle is your journey to walk so don’t worry about the critics.
I also don’t mind sharing my weight. I started off weight 282 pounds and I’m now around 265 pounds. I feel so much better and healthier. I can’t wait to get on that scale next week! I hope you all are feeling better each day and that you’re progressing well in your new lifestyle.
See y’all next week for another blog from,The Tales of a “GHETTO” Keto-Pescatarian.
Remember if you can budget for that dress,you can budget for your health.
My background includes abuse of different types, addictions,sexual assults, homelessness,and some other trauma filled issues. So it would make sense that I definitely have some mental issues steaming from these events and situations. Most people on the world have experienced these same things so it boggles my mind that people think seeking therapy is such a horrible thing.
“You don’t need therapy,you need self control,” those are the words of an ex in response of me telling him I needed therapy to control my violence towards him. Who here understands generational curses? For those who don’t it simply means carrying on negative behaviors from one generation to the next. My mom saw her dad abusing her mom,I’m sure my dad saw some type of abuse,and at one point and time my dad abused my mom and then they both abused me. I,in return,learned that behavior and carried it with me. I won’t say this ex didn’t push my buttons but I will say that I lacked the tools to control that anger. Anyway,now that I look back on it,it’s ridiculous that he would have rather had me being violent towards him instead of seeking help. I’m not sure it dawned on him that if I could control my violence on my own that I would have. In my ignorance and feeling like I was weak,I didn’t take the therapy seriously and my violence remained in tact. If you see someone struggling with something and they come to you with it,why would you tell them they need to handle it own their own as if they haven’t been trying to do so?
“You don’t need therapy,you just need God and prayer.” That’s another line that I hear all too often. It makes a person feel that they don’t believe in God enough or that they aren’t praying hard enough for their issues to be resolved by God. So not only do they feel bad about their mental health or substance abuse,you also managed to question their faith. Do you pray for money,love, happiness, promotions,etc without putting in the work to accomplish those things? No,so why would you expect someone to just fix their mental health or substance abuse issues with prayer but no work? Tell them to pray for help and encourage them to seek help. Faith without works is dead.
“Don’t be telling some stranger about your problems”. So they can’t come to you but they also can’t go to a professional? You don’t think that’s confusing? You’re reinforcing their feelings that they’re all alone while simultaneously making them feel that they aren’t. How do you think a person who is suffering will process that conflicting information? If you aren’t capable of helping them and you love them, shouldn’t you encourage them to get the help they need? Strangers who gossip aren’t the same as professional strangers that help.
These are some of the stigmas that I’ve had to deal with on my journey of seeking therapy. Trying to be and do all those things I mentioned cost me years of getting the peace of mind that a therapy helped me achieve. I ignored my traumatic past even though it was causing a lot of my reckless behaviors just because I wanted to be this strong person. I suffered in silence, lonliness,and sunk into a deeper depression because I felt shame from those who said they loved me. Remember that seeking help isn’t a personal attack on you,it becomes personal when you ignore the distressed one based on your own insecurities or ignorance. You can be a helping tool or a destructive one. Which one will you choose?
So Cardi B and Meg the Stallion song came out today and social media was set ablaze. Per usual they had their share of negative commentary and it was over the most ridiculous and double standard things. Let me go ahead and address y’all hurt feelings.
The sexuality of women has been exploited by men for centuries. We’ve heard lyrics about our breast,our butt, our thighs,our mouths,and our vaginas(I’m working on my language)and the videos with the lyrics can be worse than the actual songs. Mind you,we be dancing,twerking,and singing/rapping all of those songs and not missing a beat. So I find it absolutely disturbing and disgusting that when women take those same lyrics and apply to themselves,it’s a problem. It’s crazy how even in music these men want to have rights over our bodies.
The amount of women who have a problem with this video and lyrics are also irritating. Since when is claiming your sexiness and your sexual power a problem? Is it because they said loudly what you already do privately? Is it that you find what they do to be repulsive? Or is it that you’re such a “pick me”type of woman that you’ll agree to what men say just for them to think you’re the supreme goddess of morality? Let’s be honest,most of us grew up on Salt N Peppa,Lil Kim,Foxy Brown,etc. LiL Kim was and still is one of my favorites. She let me know if was okay to be the freak that I was especially when so many of my friends around me were such sexual prudes at the time. Men have been profiting from making lyrics about women’s body but women can’t do the same without it being a problem? Y’all have got to get yourselves together!
I also find it amusing that people are tearing the lyrics down. The lyric,”I don’t cook,I don’t clean but I got that ring,” seems to be the line that has most of y’all stuck. It’s funny cause y’all don’t decipher male rappers lyrics that as intense as female rappers but I digress. Anyway…..it’s a rhyme y’all. I’m sure she does both but even if she doesn’t than 🤷🏾♀️. The truth is some of y’all internalize that line because that’s all you do and instead of addressing that with your man,you’d rather think less of a woman who has a man despite not doing the those things. I’ve seen comments that these women are making THOT behavior acceptable! LOL! THOT hood existed long before these 2 ladies and in fact was celebrated by men……who would then turn around and make those same woman wifey. Make it make sense, y’all. 🙄
At this point I’d rather you just admit that women celebrating their sexuality makes your uncomfortable. Just say,you prefer to have your body and sexual power controlled by men. Be honest with yourself and your insecurities instead of making these women feel like they’re the problem.